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Building Confidence From Negative Self-Talk

We all have that little chatterbox character that lives inside our heads. But did you know that "voice in your head" that always creates an inner narrative also happens to hold the most significant influence over your confidence and self-esteem?

If your inner chatterbox is positive and empowering – excellent! That's probably the result of deliberate action on your part. You developed a supportive method of talking to yourself in a positive fashion. And your life, more than likely, embodies that positivity, too.  

For many of us, the role is reversed. That inner dialogue we listen to can be more a champion of the negative rather than the positive side. Would you agree? That's why I'd like to share some coaching advice that can help quiet that negativity and reprogram it toward the positive.

First, you must realize that your thoughts aren't always facts. That little inner-voice can speak loudly on a LOT of subjects that quite often aren't true.  

That intrinsic noise is often referred to as "thought chatter." It's a process that occurs when your brain isn't otherwise engaged (i.e., when you worry). 

YOU'RE NORMAL: Think of this process as you would digestion or breathing. It's an autonomic byproduct of your mind going about its business. 

However, you can still gain mastery over it!

Turning harmful mind chatter into something empowering that can help you reach your goals (instead of derailing you) is possible when you … 

ACKNOWLEDGE IT - Like A.A., the first step toward getting better is to first be aware that there's even a problem! Give close consideration to your thoughts today - how often does negativity or harsh criticism show up? 

NAME IT – When you notice negative self-talk occurring, name it as such and immediately shut it down! Don't allow yourself to ignore the noise and move on. Instead, you can acknowledge what you in there – and declare that you are not engaging in that nonsense! If you like, give it a real name – like Negative Noah or Cynical Cesar, or Pessimistic Paul. 

SPIN IT – If you see that you are giving in to your negative thought patterns, it's crucial that you immediately spin those thoughts toward a more positive angle.

Here's an example: work has you feeling stressed, and the little voice inside your head is chanting "skip your workout" because you're too exhausted and cranky.

You can spin that around by reminding yourself how your workouts help clear your head, hammer out frustrations, and gives you the precise boost your mood needs (because it actually WILL!). 

SUPPLANT IT – This approach is proactive. It tests you to come up with a few positive mantras that have special meaning to you and then repeat them to yourself at various times throughout your day. Doing this helps redirect the negative self-talk AFTER it has begun. 

Here's an example: "I am fearless and unstoppable." "I am mighty and motivated." "I'm especially proud of how self-sufficient I've been with my workout routine."

Negative thoughts and feelings are nothing to be ashamed of … everyone experiences them. 

The solution is to grow aware of how often they arise. Then, develop a process of replacing the negativity with thoughts and ideas that help establish CONFIDENCE and positivity within yourself… not tear you down, hold you back, or beat you up. 

Our lives, incredible as they may be, are short ... too short to allow negative self-talk to deceive and prevent you from experiencing the life you are DESIGNED TO LIVE. Wouldn't you agree?

That said, experience has revealed to me that the first few steps toward healing internal negativity are not easy to take for some. You are not alone in this. I'm here to help should you need me. Just call or shoot me AN EMAIL. Let's set up a time to discuss your personal aspirations and how I might be able to help. 



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